Meryll Ann Tan Ü

Hearbroken [>] Heartbreaker

[CAUTION:]
` If You Don't Like Me, Reading The Contents Of My Page May Be Hazardous To Your Health. Symptoms May Include But Not Limited To Anger, Loss Of Self Esteem, And Uncontrollable Fits Of Jealous Rage. Read At Your Own RISK :)

Hi I'm Meryll ;)
First And Foremost, I'm A Driven Person And Optimistic
More Often Than Not, I Say Less And Mean More
I Don't Set Standards In People Whom I Want To Meet :D ;)

`I'M JUST ME.. A SIMPLE GIRL LOVING HER LIFE
THE WAY ONE GIRL SHOULD ;)
`I'm Usually A Mess, I Never Have It All Together
I Have Hurt Others, I Do Stupid Stuff, I Make The Same Mistakes Again and Again But Thats Just ME!
`I Know I Made A Lot Of Mistakes, Disappointments And Failures But I Promise You That There Is A Part Of Me That's Worth Keeping! :)

Sun Jun 3
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Just Plain waste of Time :>

I wake up, dreading what will happen. I get out of bed, wishing I could stay there forever, I get ready and put on my mask, act happy, smile to the family. “smile”, “laugh” :) now, am i the greatest actress? :)

We are grounded =(( yes, ~~GROUNDED.~~ we are not allowed to go out nor to hang out with our friends, and they got our phones and threw our sim cards isn`t that just FUN? =)) so Sarcastic of me ;) and because of that It comes to the point where I constantly think about running away, sometimes on rare occasions, suicide and just for the record, Life for me in the past few months has gone completely ~~downhill.~~ It came to the point where I cut myself because for me, physical pain is easier than dealing with emotion/psychological pain. Sure I’ve made mistakes, but not to the point where all this shit comes in. They don’t know that the things they’ve put me through causes my depression. Without my Heaven, I probably wouldn’t be here anymore. No one else is a problem in my life, it’s just my parents. In reality, those who see me smile and laugh,it’s just a small blanket over the way that I really feel. My parents blame my shit mood on things such as my friends, my boyfriend and how I become antisocial when I’m at home :( Let me tell you this, my friends and my boyfriend have nothing to do with it, they’re the ones who help me go through each day. Maybe I’m not the kind of person everyone thinks I am. Because underneath these long-sleeved shirts are scars and cuts and burns, Because inside my mind is a ~~nightmare world~~, the way I see what I see every single day. Because Behind this smile is a person who hides everything deep down inside. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, but there’s that something that’s stopping me. Everyone just carries on.

but the worst part laying alone, just my problems and me. battling. fighting with myself. Live another day? end it? what to do? decisions, decisions. No, I’ll just hug my pillow some more, cry myself to sleep. Get up again and go through the same routine.